Not so Smart Heart Challenge

Last month, I wrote about the Lafayette Oatmeal Festival and how I signed up for the Quaker Oaks Smart Heart Challenge. Well I have finished eating my allotted days of oatmeal and went to local hospital to get retested on my cholesterol levels.

When I signed up I scheduled a 9 am blood test but I got a notice in the mail that it was for 7 am. Now I usually am awake at 7 with kids but not always ready to go much less ready to be pricked. But I forgot to call and reconfirm the time and just decided last night to get up and go at 7.

So I get there this morning and they had me on the list for 9 am. DOH! But since I was there... I sat down to get my vial of blood drawn. The nurse told me what I usually hear when I get blood tested or give blood, "oh you have great veins, and this will be easy." Great veins... so I got that going for me which is nice.

[Blog Warning for the Squeamish]

Great veins or not, the nurse missed me on the first try. Instead of pulling out and aborting the draw, he proceeded to twist the needle. I am withering in pain but try to act like a man and tough it out. You don't want to be seee as less of a man in the presence of a male nurse.

So we both stubbornly precede... him twisting and turning the needle so he could follow through and find this easy vein and me not showing 'em how much it hurts. We finally both give in as he decides to give up exploring for blood after I through greeted teeth tell him that it really hurts. As it goes for the right arm, I feel myself get light-headed. I don't think I even heard him as he tried to cover his failure with small talk. It took maybe 10 seconds to fill the vial from the right arm.

I'm done he says. But tough guy or not I realize its far worse to faint so I tell him I need to sit for a while. An older nurse sees me and has me lie down since she sees I have lost all color in my face. So I lied down for a little bit until I got my bearings and left... with little oatmeal gift basket in hand.

As I left, all I could think was 'this was not worth it'. So I got free oatmeal and a free pass to the oatmeal bar, I had to eat oatmeal every day for a month. I even think my cholesterol may have gone up since I loaded up with butter to get the gummy stuff down. If you read the fine print on the challenge, you are supposed to exercise and eat vegetables. If you just did that wouldn't your cholesterol go down anyway? And now my left arm is withering in pain. So my advice when you see the "smart Heart Challenge" in a magazine advertising a chance to win some free trip to Sedona, AZ, just so no.